


The No.6th Dimension

by nezumin



Category: Haikyuu!!, No. 6 - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Humor, I don't even know what's going on, M/M, Multi, literally everyone is in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:32:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4090624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nezumin/pseuds/nezumin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(For the No.6 Haikyuu!! AU courtesy of nezuomi, me, and the anons who helped make this)</p>
<p>Shion and Nezumi are painfully aware of them being anime characters, and would do anything to break out of the gay dystopia hell they're doomed to repeat for eternity.  So they prey on a new universe to settle into, and unfortunately for the boys at Karasuno, it's theirs. Crack!Fic with lots of sarcasm, don't take too seriously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prequel

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction variates a lot between serious Nezushi writing and whatever the fuck is going through my head at 2 in the morning. 
> 
> Shion is really OOC (because you know... trauma of the ending) and I? used this? as an excuse? to write nezushi??? really RUSHED nezushi?????
> 
> I suggest you find better ways to spend your time.
> 
> Also this is really inaccurate haha enjoy!

A beautiful, purple twilight was cast over the dreary West Block on your average winter but-almost-spring day, dark, nighttime clouds covering the top part of the sky.

However, nobody cares about the weather in the West Block. They were all a little preoccupied with the eminent threat of death.

Except a few.

Nezumi took a sip of his drink and propped his feet up on the coffee table in front of him. It was almost the end of the series, no point in not enjoying life now.

He counted down the seconds in his head until he knew Shion would say it, mouthing the numbers along. 3... 2... 1...

"I'm glad to have met you," Shion confessed, smiling shyly and leaning in towards Nezumi, gracing his hand to his head of dark hair.

"Hey... Shion..." Nezumi paused the white-haired boy before he could get closer.

"Huh? What is it?" Nezumi breathed slowly and made his request.

"Instead of a goodbye kiss, could I get a goodbye blow job this time?"

Shion threw the pillow on the bed nearby at his face.

"Ow...." Nezumi frowned, massaging his temples. "It's not my fault we've already done this scene..."

Normally, these type of statements would seem weird, but Nezumi and Shion, however, were painfully aware of their existence as anime characters and have been through the same 11 episodes countless times. They weren't sure why and not quite certain that other animes understood their limitations to the same plot repeating on a loop for all eternity.

Perhaps it was because in the very short run of the series, they managed to fuck everything up, and it was very difficult to forget the deaths of almost everyone you cared about, or maybe it was just because absolutely no one was satisfied with that ending. (I mean, what was that, Nezumi just LEAVES? Are you serious? After all that they've been through?)

But around the time where Nezumi walks away and the ending theme song plays one last time, the entire show resets to when they were about 12. Again, this would suck for nearly everyone because who wants to live through their shameful phases again? I don't. But it's Nezumi and Shion, so it doesn't matter.

In short, it was a living hell.

Nobody in the West Block worries about math (save terms of money), but if you were to do rough math based on when they assume the series began, there have been more times they've experienced this story than people losing thier mind over this twisted mess of emotions.

Sometimes, it seemed that only him and his 'allies' were alert to this repeat, however, he couldn't exactly speak for the mindless drones that occupied filler time on the show.

There was only one thing he was certain of. He wanted OUT.

And as many times as they both dreamed of breaking the canon more than they already had, Shion and Nezumi couldn't shake the feeling that there could be more than just No.6.

They were right.

 

* * *

 

Later that evening, they both lied in bed, Shion unable to close his eyes, feeling strangely more restless than usual. He turned over to the boy at his side and swatted him on the shoulder lightly. "Nezumi?"

"What is it?" He whined. "I'm trying to sleep."

"We have 2 episodes left until the manhunt, right?"

"Yes." He groaned, displaying his obvious frustration with the albino nerd. "We've been over this enough. Did you need me for something or what?"

"Way to completely screw up episode 7."

"Ok, wow, spending too much time in this series has turned you into an asshole."

Shion potentially saved his life by not mouthing 'like you' after that statement.

Instead, he smirked, implying certain things that were not necessarily canonical throughout the course of the series. His innocence was probably long gone at this point. He spent way too much time around Nezumi. "Not my fault. I had to watch so many people die. If I were to get out of this sadistic show, however, maybe I would be how I was the first run."

Nezumi brushed his hand along Shion's cheek. The one good thing about them knowing that this show looped was that their relationship had ample time to develop, and now they could share their sentiments with more ease than before, creating less dividing sexual tension than in most sports anime.

"There's got to be a way out... I mean, not that I'm trying to protect you or anything-"

"Can it, Nezumi, we all remember episode 10-"

"BUT it'd be nice if we could live a better life instead of always having the lingering feeling of death."

"Because we're dead inside."

"Right."

Nezumi rolled over and stretched his arm out around Shion, who snuggled deeper into him. He was grateful for the warmth radiated from the boy in his arms, because this apartment didn't get very good heating.

"You know, if we were to find a way out, not that there would be one, but it would have to be when the show starts looping again." Shion voiced under his breath. "If we take a different route during episode 11, we might be able to break the cycle."

"Great. Episode 11. My favorite." Nezumi griped.

Shion tried to remain positive, however the hell you did that in this godforsaken work of fiction. "We've been through the drill before and we haven't gotten shot the last three times." He leaned in to whisper in Nezumi's ear. "C'mon. We can find a nice, high school universe, and you and I can be together in peace."

Nezumi liked the sound of that. Staring into Shion's eyes, he smiled slightly.

"Perhaps you haven't changed."

"Well, I did give you that blow job, so I think I did."

"A little."

Shion rolled his eyes. "We have a few more days to work out this plan, so just try to sleep now, ok?" "

Alright. And one more thing-"

"What's that?"

"You're mean when you're tired."

Shion sighed, kissed his cheek, and closed his eyes again. "At least I'm not mean all the time."

Dumbfounded, Nezumi rubbed the spot where Shion brushed his lips over. His comebacks were improving.

 

 

* * *

 

The days passed by quickly, shockingly. Having something to look forward to really changes your perspective on time. In between several brief meetings with Rikiga and Inukashi about their usual correctional facility plans, Nezumi and Shion spent time discussing the possibility of getting out of this universe, and what they would like to do later on.

"I'd really like a happy world where people could delve into their passions without restrict from the government." Shion said wistfully, Nezumi's arms wrapped around him.

Nezumi gave him a blank stare. "That's literally No.5. I'm not even joking. No.6 is the only one with this problem."

"According to Safu, but she was affluent in No.6 too, so..." He countered, knowing well that life in Chronos was supreme because... he lived there at one point.

"You mean before she got taken to the correctional facility for some useless experiment?"

"Shut up."

Nezumi only held him tighter. "Just playing devil's advocate with you."

"You're something like the devil." Shion muttered and glanced up at him through the corner of his eyes.

He laughed smugly. "Excuse me, your majesty? Is that any way to talk to your boyfriend?"

Shion blushed a little at that last remark. It was still sort of rare for Nezumi to refer to him as his significant other even after all those "goodnight kisses".

"What are we even doing now? We're supposed to be coming up with a plan, not flirting." His voice wavered a little, trying his best to seem assertive, but that always failed.

"Do you really mind?"

"....No..."

"Well then we can do both." Nezumi pondered their plan so far. They had nothing. Close enough. "Winging it is the best possible thing I can think of."

"That's because you're lazy."

Nezumi furrowed his eyebrows as Shion giggled, still truly the same innocent, naive idiot he was before, like when he still held the job of park administrator.

He stared deeply into Nezumi's eyes. "I still don't know how we plan to do it, and that's what troubles me, but we have to try."

_We had better move it along... I need to get you somewhere safer as soon as possible._

The dark-haired teen only thought this to himself, filing this fluffy note under 'never-let-Shion-hear-about-this'.

 

* * *

 

Time seemed to tick forward faster and faster, until at last, they were at the correctional facility. Dozens of guards stood like an iron wall, shielding them from their quest to save Safu yet again.

In an instant, Shion brought out his gun and began shooting down the men blocking their path.

"All I want to do is-" he fired four gunshots. "And take your money."

"Shion, we don't have time for this."

"It would have been cooler with a cash register noise." He noted.

Nezumi sighed, exasperated, burying his head in his palm.

"We've been doing this far too long."

After a very tedious ascension to the top floor of the correctional facility, Shion mentally prepared himself for what he knew was going to keep happening.

"Are you ok?" Nezumi asked him, concerned with his hesitation this time.

"I just don't like this part very much." He shrugged, not wanting to go into more detail. "I mean, it's fine now, but the first time it was pretty painful."

Same as always, Safu appeared in the room. She raised a hand in the air to greet them.

"Hey guys," she tucked her short brown hair behind her ear casually. "Nice stealth. You aren't even injured this time."

"It's expected we would figure out the route by now." Nezumi wrapped his free arm around Shion."Such a shame that it has to end here for us."

"Yeah, c'mon, you know where I am, you could invite me over for dinner once in a while."

Safu had long since given up her futile love for Shion. Not that her feelings weren't real or anything, but every time episode 2 rolled around, he would start talking to her about Nezumi during their cafe scene and would absolutely never shut up about it. She was okay as long as Shion was happy, though. But who was she kidding, nobody in this anime was happy in the slightest. Yet the three were still on surprisingly good terms, despite Nezumi making a very big point of his and Shion's relationship whenever she was there.

At least they had enough inside jokes to go around.

"Yes, you should! Nezumi's apartment is so nice! And he has books everywhere, and we could invite Inukashi over too and have a sleepover-" Shion stopped himself before he could ramble any further, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "Oh, right, Elyurias, you have to do your thing or something soon."

"It was nice seeing you again, Shion. Unfortunately, I'm not really that big of a character in this show." Safu motioned to Nezumi. "Anyways, you should get on with it."

Nezumi nodded, stepping towards the fancy computer, which he could never afford in a million acting gigs, and pressed the button.

"Oh no... the building is collapsing... whatever will I do...." Safu jokingly cried. "No, seriously, go on guys. I'll hang with you the next time around."

Nezumi and Shion closed the door behind them, Shion's face still a bit downcast from their conversation.

"She's not Safu anymore, same as before. We've been through this."

"...That's not why I'm upset...." Nezumi could see fear flash in Shion's eyes. "Did you tell?.."

He was interrupted by a loud crash. No time to lose now, that was their signal.

 

* * *

 

After almost no time searching, they found the escape ladder to lead them to Rikiga and Inukashi.

As expected, the same guy that tried to shoot Shion what seemed like days ago now saw them and was readying his gun. Nezumi shot him before he even got the chance to protest. Shion getting hurt now was about as pointless as those parasitic wasps.

"Tch. How come the minor characters never remember anything?"

"Nezumi, they don't have characters. They might have the memories, but since their only point is to do that one job to move the show along, they're going to keep doing it forever and ever." Shion explained, beginning his descent down the ladder."Oh wait, I'm supposed to die at this next part."

"Is that really necessary? We can just have Safu sing to you. It works. No need for you to die."

"Wow, you must really like me." Shion singsonged.

Nezumi retaliated by kicking him in the face.

"It wasn't even that hard this time. I can see you've gone soft." He teased, tracing a heart around Nezumi's ankle.

"Hurry up and climb down, I can't stay on this ladder forever."

And so they went down, and then onto a conveyer belt, this time not covered in blood so it was actually pretty entertaining.

"That was fast." Inukashi remarked, glancing at the both of them. "Did you even get the task done?"

"YES, and neither of you have to cry this time." Nezumi looked at Rikiga, who was relieved that Shion was alright. "I'm talking to you, Rikiga."

"Do we just go now? Is that it? Okay. Cool" Inukashi threw their hands up in the air. "See ya' on the flip side, I guess."

Oops. Nezumi had forgotten to tell them. 

Shion glared at him, a short burst of flames flashing in his red eyes. "So you DIDN'T tell.... Nezumi, I thought I told you to mention to Inukashi and Safu and my mom we would be leaving!" Shion reprimanded him. "You're driving the way the only people that care about us."

"We can't have EVERYONE leave the West Block for our hypothetical plan. Plus, I do not remember you telling me that anytime recently, and I can't exactly look back and checked."

Shion muttered that 'it was implied', but decided it would be better to focus on the task at hand: leaving hell.

"...We still haven't figured out how this will work.... " He nervously trailed off, a little afraid of what to expect next, but mostly concerned with the fact they did not work out any sort of plan. "Nothing makes sense here...."

"I'm sure we'll figure it out. We just have to do something so drastically different..."

"Like what?" Shion frantically racked his brain for a quick solution.

Suddenly, like a lightbulb going off, he got an idea. "Wait.... the correctional facility...."

If there was one thing Nezumi was rich in, it was sarcasm. "The name of the building? Good to see your quality, No.6 education was not wasted."

"No, Nezumi. If we get very close to the top of the building as it explodes, it could be our way to get to another dimension!"

"Your logic is as flawed as the city."

But Shion had no time for sassy comments. He grabbed Nezumi's hand, grasping it tightly, and charged for the nearest set of stairs.

This was it, they were making their way up.Their footsteps echoed off the stairs, ringing loudly with each one they took. Nezumi peered down to see the flights they had already taken. They were so close to the top, and all he believed this to be was pointless sacrifice. "Are you SURE you know what you're doing?" He questioned Shion, his tone a bit more harsh than he expected it to be.

"Just trust me." Shion got in one last smile before the correctional facility exploded. And everything went black.

 

 

* * *

 

"Shion? Wake up, airhead. I'm serious. Wake up. I'm bored." Shion could hear a droning voice in the distance that sounded an awful lot like Nezumi, but he could see nothing and everything was so far away. He surpressed the urge to yell out 'five more minutes'. "Wake up or I am pawning you off to Rikiga." He gasped and Nezumi swam into focus soon after, who was not, in fact, far away, but RIGHT on top of him. "Good to see you care."

Nezumi scowled and turned his head away from the body directly underneath him. "I don't care. Who said THAT?"

"You love me." Shion cooed. He held his palm to his cheek like some kind of lovestruck teenage girl. "

I do not LOVE you."

Shion dug into his pocket (he opted for pants with pockets after he realized he would always be giving up his coat) and pulled out a cheap, gray tape recorder.

Pressing play, Nezumi could hear his own voice saying "I have fallen".

He stuttered, his face flushed from his admitting compassion. "Where the hell did you get that?"

"I have my ways."

"Shion."

He twirled a strand of his white mane. "What, you don't think I _get around_?" The last two words were emphasized just to spite the other.

"Shion, please, you have flirting ability of a pencil." Nezumi huffed. "And even the pencil is straighter than you will ever be."

"WELL, Nezumi, see if you ever get me in bed again." Shion retorted, even though deep down they both knew it was true.

"HOW DID YOU GET THE TAPE RECORDER?"

"...I got it as a reward from Rikiga."

"What reward could you possibly get?"

The jig was up. Shion had tried to look cool in front of Nezumi but had once again miserably failed. "....For... not dying.... the last time.... I'm not good with combat, ok?"

"I swear to god that universe is desperate for the slightest bit of hope."

"That?" Shion asked, confused.

"Haven't you looked around?"

There was no more correctional facility, no more endless white walls and no more corpses. Instead, there was only a beautiful, dark galaxy with stars dotting paths all around them, and circular entrances with images of other worlds flashing inside of them.

They had done it.

"WE'RE FREE OF NO.6! WE DID IT NEZUMI! WE DID IT!" Shion fought back tears of happiness as he wrapped his arms around Nezumi.

The corner of Nezumi's lips twisted into the tiniest of smiles. "Yeah, yeah, we did it, now please don't suffocate me in the middle of nothingness."

Shion stood back, his face turning a slight red. His hugs were a little too tight when he was excited.

He approached the nearest circular portal, where vintage-looking images showed robots, plugsuits, and a brunet kid holding hands with a very interested-looking smooth albino.

Shion was intrigued. "Hey, Nezumi, what about this one?-"

A scene flashed where the albino's head was blown off. "...Nevermind."

"Remember, Shion, pick an anime that WON'T kill us. We have no idea how the world works in any of these places."

"Okay, okay." It was almost like window shopping, walking past and browsing for their new life's destiny. Some showed high school life, others depicted lavish fantasy lands, and others should be avoided like the plague.

That was when Shion saw a flash of orange. He turned to face where it was coming from, a swirling circle with more pictures of an anime transitioning like a slideshow on it.

So it _was_ a new universe.

"Hm? What's in that one?" Nezumi inquired.

Of what they could see and piece together from the 'preview', it looked like it was about a high school volleyball team.

An all boy's volleyball team, that allowed them to blend in smoothly (unlike the magical girl teams Shion wanted to be a part of).

Best of all? There was no death.

"It's... perfect...." Shion sniffed a little of happiness. "No... dying......"

"No.6 has set our standards so low..." Nezumi murmured.

"So, we're going here? This is our new life?" Shion took his hand and looked one last time into those mysterious gray eyes.

"I don't have any better ideas." With his free hand, he motioned gracefully towards the circle and bowed, fingers extending swiftly as they pointed. "After you, your highness."

"Remind me to kill you in the next world."

"Hey! I thought there was no death in this show."

Shion kissed him playfully on the corner of his lips, just a tad more affectionate than usual at the moment. "Right, right. Okay, I'm going in. Hold on tight."

They became conscious of this powerful force, driving them down, hurdling them towards who-knew-where at the speed of light. The two expected to hit the ground with a thud and braced for impact, half-believing they wouldn't live from falling this high.

However, the plummet didn't hurt them, and even if it did, they were too in awe over the large school building looming over them. 

A sign was conveniently placed next to them, reading 'Karasuno High School' in neat black text. 

They were here.


	2. What's Volleyball, Again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The left-behind squad rush to figure out where Shion and Nezumi are, while the pair are witnessing some pretty 'interesting' events at Karasuno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's like 11 pm and i cant see properly

"Does everyone know why we are gathered here today?"

Inukashi tapped their foot, waiting for a response from this less-than-adequate brainstorm team. If only Nezumi was here, he would have been much more useful.

But if Nezumi WAS here, then they would not have called this ridiculous meeting in the first place.

Safu, still the most affluent one of the bunch, despite having technically died the last time we saw her, checked her watch. "It's 2 in the morning... you'd think they'd just be at that apartment by now...."

"I CHECKED, Safu, and they aren't there. I didn't even bother to knock!" Inukashi reassured her for the 17th time. "Though in most circumstances involving those morons, it's better to..."

Karan wringed her hands, fidgety and nervous because of the frightful news she had been told via mouse. "I can't believe they've gone missing... my poor baby, Shion, missing!"

"IT'S OKAY, KARAN! WE WILL FIND OUR PRECIOUS SHION!!" Rikiga cried and wrapped his beefy arms around her fragile body. This was how people were choked to death.

Inukashi clenched their fist and punched the wall next to them for immediate stress relief that one definitely needed for any time spent around that obnoxious pimp. "Cut it OUT, Rikiga! Why are you even here?!"

"...Moral support?..."

"They were supposed to be back when everything reset, but now we're just stuck in a show without the main characters."

Safu attempted to piece together what little they currently understood about this situation, and change the subject, because, admittedly, everyone was a little tired of Rikiga.

"Now we're just frozen at how we were most of the series."

"And we need to find a solution to this problem..." Inukashi's voice droned off in worry. They had never, ever had this ordeal, and they doubted anyone had, but what was one supposed to do when two main characters vanished?

Safu put to use that genius brain of her, and assessing the freeze, she came out of thought with a potential lead.

"See, Nezumi and Shion may have found a way to completely leave the show, and mess up all of our roles in the finale in the process, since they aren't at the apartment and time is still progressing." She paused briefly to ask a question. "Weren't you there, Inukashi and Rikiga? Do you remember if when you saw them last, they did something different?"

"...Not really, we just kind of left?" Inukashi shrugged as Rikiga nodded in agreement. "They seemed pretty flighty though, if you ask me."

"They weren't where they were supposed to be for their final scene, and since they weren't hurt I naturally assumed they had left without me."

"Do you think they?-"

"...Went back up there?" Considering the possibility only for a brief moment, Karan shook her head, still a little heavy with grief. "No, Shion wouldn't do that! NEITHER of them would do that, honestly. What could they even have to gain from dying at the end."

"Freedom." Safu whispered. "Perhaps they were just sick of the torture that they went through each and every time."

Karan raised her voice from her usual motherly tone. "We ALL went through hell! Yet WE didn't consider something as drastic as suicide."

"A lover's suicide, huh? I doubt they'd go for that, no matter how much romantic bullshit Nezumi's into," huffed Inukashi. They rested their head against the crumbling walls of the hotel, so desperately trying to stay awake after this exhausting day.

"It's the only explanation! It's not like they can just LEAVE NO.6 and wreck the show from restarting ever again!"

"They have died on this show more times than any of us can count. What makes you think that killing themselves will protect them from the reset?"

"I don't KNOW!" Safu tried to control the steady stream of tears flowing down her face, but was victim to her emotions yet again. "Maybe they just wanted a better life, and breaking canon so drastically would do just that-"

Rikiga's face lit up a little. "A better life... Like, outside of No.6...."

Her face contorted into a scowl. "That is what I just said. Thank you EVER so much for gracing our conversation with your comment."

"No, no, wait a second... a better life, outside of No.6!" Sleep was making Inukashi's mind go.

"I don't understand-"

"We're in an anime, right? Obviously, we are aware of that." They tried to hurriedly explain the rushed thoughts pouring into their brain. "Other animes exist, we know this too. Shion and Nezumi might have thought that drastically breaking canon, or even going to the top of the correctional facility would take them to a different show, one where they wouldn't have to worry about dying."

"Why wouldn't they tell us then?" Karan questioned. "What would they have to gain from hiding it?" Safu went along with the theory, despite being skeptical. "Well, there is the fact that it probably wouldn't work, and it would be too risky for us to get involved."

"It doesn't make any sense! How could one even EXPLAIN the logic in that?" Karan was getting very, very worked up.

"It's fiction." Inukashi explained. "There aren't any rules. At all. Whatsover. Laws of the universe do not apply to us."

They all sat there in silence for a while.

Safu stared at the sky, blinking sleepily as the stars dotted her dreams. The constellations she could see began swirling, changing colors, in a new way that she had never observed before. She blamed it on sleep deprivation, but there was something more to it, something that was calling her, an answer hidden deep in the night.

It was then true solution to their plan was proposed.

 

* * *

 

"Hey, Nezumi," Shion tapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Did you notice... that our clothes?..."

Nezumi tilted his head down, staring in shock. Their former attire had been replaced with this high school's uniform, judging from the fact every student surrounding them was wearing this.

"We should have gone somewhere with better taste.... I don't want to wear a uniform.... this is oppression."

"Shut up, Nezumi, not everything is a dystopia." Shion brushed the dirt caked onto the black fabric from the fall. "Anyways, I thought you'd like it, it's black."

"Oh yeah... It goes well with my soul..."

Though there were no clocks around and thus impossible to know the exact time, the perfectly matching students were busily rushing to all corners of the school, presumably for club activities.

Not that either of them would know, since there were no club activities in the West Block and Nezumi has never actually attended school.

"Now, where are we supposed to go? I don't see a campus map anywhere..." Shion, attempting to find whatever backdrop they saw in the preview, turned his head in several directions all at once. To Nezumi, he looked like he was having a stroke.

And apparently, everyone else thought so too, because a concerned student approached them warily. "Um... are you ok? Should I get the nurse?"

"What he needs is therapy, to be honest." Shion shot him a glare that would have been preferred to a weapon in the West Block.Nezumi laughed and propped his elbow up on Shion's bony shoulder.

"Actually, there is something I'd like for you to tell me..." The calmer, fluffier, white-haired one asked the irrelevant minor character crucial only to progressing the plot.

"Aha..." The student began sweating very heavily, and he started scratching the inside of his palm, accelerating with every pause. "Um... uh... i don't know anything about... the school, uh.... nothing at all....." His voice sunk to a low whisper. "Unless, of course... you brought the money?"

The two apocalypse leftovers stood in shock. This guy wouldn't have lasted a second in the West Block, with this kind of mouth.

Shion's eyebrows raised, confused at the sudden line that was not even befitting of this plot. "I was more interested in finding out the building in which you play sports."

Nezumi blinked slowly. "You mean a gymnasium. I honestly thought you would have read more in that fancy school-"

"How should I know? I was an ecology major."

"Oh." Breathing a timid sigh of relief, the student pointed in the directions of said gym. "It's right over there. Can't miss it."

"Uh, thanks." Shion was still pretty skeptical.

Not that it was important anymore, because now they knew where the story was centered and could hopefully enjoy watching some volleyball in peace.

But this is Nezumi and Shion, and just like reunion, peace will never come.

 

* * *

 

Nezumi swung open the gymnasium doors with a satisfying thud. Time to enjoy watching some-

"Are you guys new to the team?" A momlike figure with silver hair smiled brightly, official clipboard in hand.

Standing in very close proximity to him was either his boyfriend or a coach that was really breaking some boundaries.

"U-um... uh..." Shion stammered.

"I'm Sugawara, and this is the team captain, Sawamura. Of course, you can call him Daichi if you do turn out to be joining the team."

"Such a formal introduction...you're second years, right?" Daichi glanced at Suga for approval, who was nodding a lot and tapping his ballpoint pen to that clipboard. "I wouldn't really know... but you look like second years, I guess?"

"You know, with the shit I've seen, I should be the principal." Nezumi retorted, a bitter fruit as usual.

Shion promptly elbowed Nezumi in the gut.

"Are you sure someone can just waltz in and join the volleyball team? I don't think that's how it works..." Some more-bitter-than-Nezumi kid with glasses was just punching holes in this logic.

"Haha, Tsukishima, I don't really know," Suga giggled a little to himself. "Between being vice-captain of this team, wrangling you children both on and off the court, having to deal with the impending stress of the future, being a third year, and having chosen to look after this sexual-tension ridden team instead of focusing on my exams, which I will likely fail, it has left me with surviving on about 3 hours of sleep every night, so at this point, I couldn't care less about the rules of volleyball, you goddamned dinosaur fetishist."

Tsukishima did not dare cross Suga again.

Suga, while being a bit _on edge_  when stressed, wasn't who he had a bone to pick anyway.

Glasses boy focused his attention instead on two bigger distractions than Skin Condition and Ponytail, these two distractions being teammates he unfortunately knew well.

"KAGEYAMA!!! TOSS TO MEEEEE!!!!" The human equivalent of the Annoying Orange yelled at the top of his puny little lungs.

A much taller boy with a permanent scowl gripped tighter on the volleyball he was holding, as if squeezing the object would magically make his pent-up frustration go away. "No, dumbass, we haven't even started scrimmaging yet and we're supposed to be working on your shitty defense."

'Dumbass' pouted and crossed his arms defiantly. "My defense is NOT shitty, and even if it was, our offense is the key to games!" He blew up a strand of fiery hair that had fallen into his eyes. "If we screw up our offense, we won't get to play AT ALL! ...Probably. Besides, we have Noya on defense, don't we?"

Orange Julius held out his arm to reveal an even shorter punk-rock wannabe that was screaming some unintelligable bullshit while an escaped convict threw a volleyball in his direction.

"ROLLING THUNDER!" He cried, saving a ball from touching the gym floor so passionately, you'd think it was made of lava.

"Nice one, bro!" Juvenile delinquent yelled to his pint-sized cellmate.

"Ay, Tanaka! Hit me up again!" He puffed out his chest to showcase his dominating power over the defense position.

At this point, it didn't seem like Shion and Nezumi were even there anymore.

Suga shot them an apologetic look.

"Why don't you two make yourself at home on the bleachers?" He weakly offered. "This way you can see how our team functions as a cohesive unit."

They didn't want to seem TOO excited about being left alone on the sidelines, but since neither of them could play volleyball and Nezumi almost forgot what sport this was, Shion sped to the bleachers and Nezumi followed suit.

 

* * *

 

 

Evidently, this unit was about as cohesive as No.6 and the West Block.

The ever-energetic ray of sunshine right next to the actual prince of darkness, literally JUMPING at the chance for one of his tosses.

As the setter, if they wanted to score a point, he would eventually have to get a volleyball to the bouncy child.

Nezumi had to admit, even HE was impressed by their astonishingly quick spikes. (Knowledge he had picked up from listening to the team honestly calling out every single move they made, 'nice serve!' 'nice toss!'. He would be a pro in no time).

It was almost like they made the perfect duo.

Something felt... familiar about this.

The scrimmage ended, with the freaky-fast-freaky-good side ultimately winning.

"Nice work, Kageyama! Your tosses were AMAZING! Like 'pwah!' And 'gwah!'" The short jumping bean's eyes widened, the brown orbs sparkling and twinkling like chocolate gems.

Nezumi wondered if this kid had a vocabulary. Did he even ATTEND this school? It was possible he was an elementary school punk they were disguising as a teenager, and not doing a very good job of it.

The setter who was complimented was fixated on those eyes, frozen for a moment before muttering. "..Thanks, dumbass."

A pang hit Nezumi as he glanced at Shion, the dork who had cheered the whole game.

Oh.

_OH._

Setter ruffled Orange's hair, kind of roughly, but was still not enough to escape the wrath of Dinosaur Fucker.

"The King and his Queen win yet again." He sniggered, while a freckled boy behind him reviewed his humor.

"Good one, Tsukki!"

The critic had spoken. Cue the applause.

"Shut up, Yamaguchi," groaned Glasses.

Nezumi, as a performer, knew that was no way to treat your reviewers. How were you going to get business otherwise?

The royal duo fidgeted awkwardly and attempted to brush it off by insulting the comedian.

"Don't you have puppies to kick, Tsukishima?" King retorted harshly.

"Nevermind, I have a great NEW nickname for your precious decoy," Glasses smirked. "Cuties Mandarins."

"...You've really lost your senses, haven't you..."

"Why would I be called Cuties Mandarins? Aren't those fruits for kids or something?" Queen protested in vain. "I don't get it."

Glasses narrowed his eyes at King. "Because he's orange and easy to peel."

Howling of laughter like a hyena, Critic rolled onto the floor.

"Stop it, Yamaguchi, it wasn't that funny..."

King and Queen were absolutely paralyzed from that last statement.

Kageyama's throat ran dry. He wished anyone, anyone at ALL, could save him from this situation-

Nezumi must be a mind reader. He sprung down from the bleachers, much to Shion's surprise, and dragged the raven-haired tyrant outside.

Slamming the door behind them, Kageyama turned to face the mysterious new potential teammate.

Okay, maybe the ANYONE statement had been a little exaggerated.

"Look, I'm grateful and all, but who are-"

"Kid..." interrupted Nezumi, addressing the setter, who was at the most a year younger than him. "You've got it bad for that loud orange thing."

Kageyama stood speechless, his pupils shrunken and red coloring his face at an alarming speed. "What?? What the fuck??? Who are you, to be assuming these INVASIVE AND UNTRUE THINGS?"

"A concerned bystander..." Nezumi adjusted his ponytail. "Trust me, I know EXACTLY what it's like... you care for an annoying thing that probably cannot be classified as a human..."

The first-year shifted uncomfortably, losing whatever cool he had left. He randomly started to feel warm. Was it hot outside? It had to have been 80 degrees.

No... it was November....

"I get it, you have a thing for the sun.. I prefer the moon, myself, but both of them are dragging us down as it is."

"HINATA IS NOT THE SUN, I DO NOT LIKE HIM, AND AGAIN, I AM GOING TO ASK WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ONE MORE TIME BEFORE I PUNCH YOU." Kageyama's inner demons were once again resurfacing.

Nezumi took note that this was indeed an angsty anime.

"WHOA, easy there, Killer!" Nezumi grinned, his tone becoming slightly threatening. "Trust me, I don't think you'd wanna cross me in a fight."

"LIKE HELL I WOULDN'T!"

"RELAX. What, did this guy let you break into his house, too?" The dark rat, genuinely confused about his own feelings deep inside, began spewing questions at the poor, poor athelete. "Did he save your life? Did he give you a 'goodnight' kiss?"

"Please stop harassing me!" He screamed.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS??"

That is when Nezumi saw his doting companion right behind him.

"Shion, did you hear any of that?" Nezumi crossed his fingers hoping that no one yet again saw him have emotions.

"Only all of it."

"Kageyama, why are you so noisy?" Citrus decided to drop in too, now.

The gang's all here.

Shion knew he had to put a stop to the eventual fight that would result in a couple of mangled corpses in front of the highschool. And he did NOT sign up for any deaths, just gays and volleyball.

He placed his hands on the shoulders of both of the sexually-frustrated teens. "I wish you good luck on your relationship!" He then sunk his nails into Nezumi's forearm and grabbed him tightly, hauling him far away from a potential crime scene. "Now time to work on mine."

Trying to get one last sentence in, the street rat shouted. "SEE, this is what happens when you get attached to people, just kill off that annoying orange nerd while you still can!"

Kageyama wasn't sure how many times you could possibly be at a loss for words in one day.

 

* * *

 

 

Safu had gathered the group outside in the dead of night. It was cold and they no longer had dogs available to them as heaters when they weren't in the hotel.

"You better have a good reason for bringing me out in this goddamn weather." Inukashi growled.

"What, do you think I have a coat? I'm not rich, Safu, something you No.6 people need to learn-"

"ENOUGH!" The girl unwrapped the pink scarf from her neck, giving it to Inukashi as an apology. "Listen, since we are stuck in time, it is possible that I am still part Elyurias."

"Where is this going?"

"I, with my acquired god-powers, will attempt to summon fresh meat- I mean REPLACEMENTS- to the West Block." Safu looked more determined than ever before. "Nezumi and Shion likely know how to get out of wherever they are, and they can come back if they want to. But since they DON'T want to relive this hell one more time, we'll just ask for two new ones. I'm sure there is one anime with an abundance of characters, or maybe even too many extras depending on wherever those two went, that will gladly give us some temporary new mains."

Though the plan was fairly rational compared to most of their discussions that evening, the others seemed... worried.

"There's no WAY any two people can replace them!" shouted Karan, her face completely white. "And having two innocent souls come here in THIS misery? That will mess them up for life!"

"It's only temporary, I'm sure Shion and Nezumi want to come back. We all need a little vacation every now and then."

There was no choice but to trust her now.

"Elyurias... Elyurias?" Safu called to the night sky. "Okay, I feel I have been kind of cheated before because I always make the same wish every time, and that's not very fair, so if you could grant us another wish, since I'm PART YOU, and that makes us family, that'd be swell." She could feel her pulse quickening. "I wish for 2 new main characters."

Elyurias complied, the bee goddess appearing in the sky and turning everything white.

 

* * *

 

Nezumi awoke in an unfamiliar bed.

It was not only unfamiliar because Shion wasn't there, but this bed was in a room that did NOT match his taste in decor.

Strewn on the floor was a team jersey. Oh yes. The volleyball anime.

On the back, the number '9' shined bright in bold white lettering.

...When did he get this?

But what was stranger than the unfamiliar number, and the unfamiliar room, and the wafting smell of food from an actual kitchen nearby, were the smaller letters directly above the '9'.

Printed in neat, white kanji were the words "Kageyama Nezumi."

He gulped. He had really gotten himself into trouble this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shion is mean but adorably mean. Nezumi has influenced him so, so much
> 
> Also i headcanon Suga when stressed is a very scary mom

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry


End file.
